Updated: Mar 21
Today's blog post is all about the often spoken about "Season of Singleness". Many people struggle during their season of singleness. Through the periods of loneliness to the constant questions of ‘why are you still single?’. But being single does not have to be a negative thing. A period of singleness can be a blessing, depending on how you spend your time during this season and how you perceive it. If you are in this season of your life, use this time to seek God, discover your purpose and do things that you enjoy doing. Use this season to work towards becoming a better version of yourself (i.e. Personal Development) and who God created you to be (i.e. Purpose).
Some people are called to a life of singleness, but this blog post will only focus on being called to a SEASON of singleness!
Matthew 6:33, Seek first the kingdom of God and his Righteousness and these things shall be added to you
At all stages of our lives, our main focus should be to put God first. Without God, your period of singleness is likely to be a struggle. If God has called you into this season, use this time to seek and build a relationship with Him. Do not waste your period of singleness as some of you will agree it goes so quick. During this season, actively seek God with your whole heart, serve Him and serve others. Whilst you are single and desiring to be married, do not just sit there and wait for your dream man or woman to turn up. Spend this time doing things you love, discover new talents and spend time with your loved ones. Use this time to grow, develop and improve as an individual, before you enter the process of becoming one with another individual. Do not just wait whilst doing nothing or you may miss out on the many amazing things you could achieve in this season.
As a single person, you should seek to be whole in Christ. You do not want to come into a marriage broken or full of holes. Remember that a man leaves his father and mother to be joined to his wife and they become ONE. This requires two whole individuals, not two halves, who go through a spiritual process and become one. Use this season to allow God to heal you from any heartbreaks from previous relationships and allow God to fill the void in your life.
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and in God’s perfect time, the person God has ordained for you will come along…
Devote your time to God
1 Corinthians 7:32, The unmarried person careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord.
Whether you believe it or not, when you get married your attention is divided between God and your spouse. When children come into the picture even more of your time is devoted to the home. So, this period of singleness is a great time to give your undivided attention to the Lord, without having to consult your partner before making certain decisions or before spending time with God.
Discover your Purpose
Jeremiah 1:5, Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you.
If you are in a season of singleness, this is a great time for you to discover your purpose. Remember that you were created ‘on purpose for a purpose’. Whether you are in your season of singleness or not, as you seek God, pray that He will help you discover your purpose. During this season, you are likely to have more free time than you would if you were married with children.
For those destined to be married, marriage is only one part of your purpose on this planet Earth. In fact, walking in your purpose while single will highlight to you how important it is to be joined with someone who God has ordained to fit within your purpose. So, focus on becoming the woman or man God wants you to be rather than focusing on finding the right man or woman. Get to know yourself during this season, know your worth and love the woman or man you are becoming.
Be Patient and do You… Patience is a Virtue
Ecclesiastes 3:1, For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.
It can be easy to become impatient during your season of singleness. If you are single you may be thinking but ‘It’s not easy’, 'Is it ever going to happen?'. You may feel like everyone around you is in a relationship or is getting married and you may ask yourself, 'when is it going to be me'? 'is it ever going to be me'? God has made everything beautiful in its time. Believe that God’s timing is the best timing. Being impatient will not speed up the process, but is likely to lead to unnecessary stress and worry. But instead be patient and enjoy your season of singleness. Ask God, what should I be doing right now in this season.
There are so many different seasons in our lives. Whichever season you may be in enjoy it, be content and be happy for those around you. The worst thing is for you to envy others just because they are where you desire to be e.g. married. Do not compare your journey to others but focus on your own journey. Be patient and enjoy the blessings within your season of singleness.
Do not allow anyone to put any pressure on you, or make you feel inadequate because you are single. You may be getting pressurised by family members to get married quickly, maybe because you are of a certain age. Do not allow others to make you feel like there is something wrong with you because you are not yet married. The worst thing you can do is to get married to the wrong person. But be assured that God may just be preparing you for that special someone, or in fact preparing them for you. Trust in God and work towards being content during your season of singleness and beyond.
Ephesians 5:3, But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you.
Single people, just like others, are likely to struggle with sexual temptations. Having someone close to you as an accountability partner to help you in this area, alongside prayer, may help you from giving in to such temptations. But that is not enough. It is important that you take personal responsibility also. In this world we live in, almost everything around us encourages sexual immorality. From the movies shown on TV, the songs played in your local supermarket to the conversations of your work colleagues 'about last night'. But just because the world encourages it does not mean you should follow the crowd. There is a saying that states "those who play with fire often get burned". Don't play with fire, in fact don't even light the match. It usually always starts with a look, a thought before the act actually takes place. As a single person in this generation, choose to be set apart and flee from sexual immorality.
Pray for your future spouse
Philippians 4:6, Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
It is never too early for you to start praying for your future spouse or in fact for your future marriage. Although you may not know who your future husband or wife is yet, we are told in scripture to make our requests known to God. Let God mould you into the woman or man that He wants you to be and pray that He will mould your future spouse into who He has called them to be.
Final word of encouragement…
If you so happen to be in this season, remember it is just a season and is unlikely to last forever. Seasons change… just like spring, summer, autumn and winter. Do not waste this season! You are in this season for a reason. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.